My Accidental Hipster Old Person Moment

21 Aug

So I am about to get real on you for a brief moment.  AND I am going to be discussing a hot-topic – Hipsters.  If you find the topic of hipsters and their subculture offensive, I apologize in advance.

I was cruising the internet and I cam across this picture.


There are two things that I don’t understand about this picture that I shall detail below.

The 1st Bothersome Thing

First, after all the time spent making such lovely quality renders of an under water environment, how could anyone think they could improve it with a cheap photoshop filter?  Come on!  It’s Pixar.  You think you can make it look better than Pixar?

As an artist, color is a HUGE deal to me.  Messed up colors actually really make me anxious.  It makes me want to retouch it and send it back so that people know what good images are supposed to look like.  The invention of cheap filters and digital cameras has made everyone think that good photography is easy.  It’s not.  Instagram does not a good photographer make.  My only comfort is in articles like this one, where the writer describes an app whose only purpose is to reverse Instagram filters.  Hope is alive, my friends.  Hope is alive.  So I will continue to take pride in my real photography and someday I will be able to say that I was doing it before it was cool again.

Aw, damn.

Then the earth shook.  Did you feel it?  It was the single-most horrifying moment of my life, because I had an epiphany.  I am an accidental hipster.

Now I am a conventional girl.  I have long come to term with the fact that I am slowly becoming my mother but there is no preparation for becoming a hipster.  There needs to be a hotline or something with a telethon raising awareness.  The more I thought of it though, the more I think it’s not completely terrible.

Because of the shift in cultures, overly saturated, filtered images are the norm, the “cool” thing to do.  Everywhere on the internet there are people posting images of extremely processed photos.  It almost seems like the world has flipped upside down.  Hipster culture is now mainstream, and what once was mainstream is now hipster.  Woah…   Which makes me a hipster?

My thoughts exactly, Vadar.

The 2nd Bothersome Thing

My second thought is “who the crap-doodle came up with ‘yolo’?”  Have we become so lazy that we speak only in acronyms?  This bothers me and I don’t know why.  It’s what’s wrong with the world these days.  People can’t communicate because they don’t use real words.

I’ll prove how true the sentiment is if you say it again!

I sat and pondered why this particular phase of modern culture bothers me and certain phrases came to mind.  Ones like “whipper snappers”, and “young punks”, and even “get off my lawn” though no one is on my lawn currently.  It just seems like something hipsters would do.  Then it occurred to me that I am becoming a Nixon era old man.  The only explanation I can think of is that driving 88 miles an hour has some extra side-effects that were not properly explained in the Back to the Future trilogy.

Just ask Checkers.

I am going to keep my head up high and be proud of command of the English language.  I will never use silly popular acronyms, unless, of course, I am using them ironically like I do that sweater I wear around Christmas time.



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